I have been in Quinn and Ayden’s head since they were seven, connecting them in a way unknown to the human world. Convincing, prodding at the young minds of the two seven year olds, people say I am crazy, mad, and erratic, but I was trying to help them find each other, and find love. No one knows about me; I’m hidden like a secret, until one day on their 18th birthdays, everything changed. I am Schizophrenia. I dwell in the minds of the young and the young at heart. So Let’s start from the beginning, when Quinn Rosemond turned seven.
“Happy Birthday to you, …Happy Birthday dear Quinn…” echoed through the halls of our small ranch side home. My mom placed my three-layer sheet cake in front of me and lit the multicolored number 7 for me to blow out. The wax from the candle slowly dripped on my cake. Suddenly, as I blew out my candle, my body tensed.
“I am here…”, a strong male voice wailed in my head.
My breath got heavy, the lights flickered, blood began dripping from the walls. I screamed. My parents rushed over, and I began to have clarity in my head, which was still pounding. My body released the tension that had filled it just minutes before.
“Why was there blood dripping from the walls.” I asked nervously
My parents exchanged nervous glances and quickly brought me to the doctor, before we even cut the cake.
“Her body tensed and she saw imagery on the wall that was not there.” My mom anxiously informed the doctor.
The doctor turned his reptilian eyes on to me, he hissed and began to look over my cold body. I blinked hard and his cold-blooded eyes turned to a calming soft blue. He said I was psychotic, I didn’t know what that meant then, but now I do. My mom and dad gasped, tears filled both of my parents striking blue eyes. A kind nurse took me to another room, a quiet one, walls a bleak beige, and there I sat alone and afraid.
A new nurse stepped into the desolate, dismal room. She was harsh compared to the other one that had escorted me into the grim room, the first nurse was warm and caring. But, I was happy to be out of that forbidding room. For a little while, she pushed me in a chair that had wheels. A wheelchair, I think it is called. It was fun, I guess, while it lasted. We finally arrived at a strange room, full of bizarre jackets and funny looking masks.
She pushed a needle into my arm, I winced. The nurse turned into a horrifying behemoth before I drifted to sleep.
When I woke up I couldn’t move my arms were tied together with one of the strange jackets and I wore the strange mask over my mouth. I was laid on a stretcher in a dark van. I was awake for a few more minutes before I drifted back to sleep. When I woke up for the second time the jacket was off and so was the mask. I was in a bright room, walls padded with big ivory cushions, there was no door, except a small rectangle hole with a red tray on it.
I cautiously walked over to the red tray and saw a piece of cake, my cake with a note that stated,
Honey, I am so sorry this has happened. We will visit you as much as work lets us. Hopefully you will be out of there soon. You may not know what is going on. Just remember we will always love you.
-Mom and Dad
After arriving at the strange place mom and dad only visited me about 4 times a week. I sat in the strange room starly blankly at the boring padded walls, wanting so badly to break out, escape from this horrible place. I was started on a medication called Zyprexa but, my delusions didn’t stop, even though to me they were a reality.
We don’t celebrate birthdays much in my house anymore, the only thing we do different is have a little ice cream after supper, ever since my mom moved away to marry a quarter-back three years ago. Well, because I am turning 7 my dad decided to get me a multicolored number seven to blow out on my small scoop of chocolate ice cream.
After an enjoyable dinner of steak and beans it was time for dessert. My dad fixed the many-hued candle into the slowly melting ice cream, he lit the candle with his small cigarette lighter. I blew out the candle and removed it from my ice cream.
A bright light flashed before my silvery blue eyes.
“I’m here.”, ricocheted in my head in peculiar female voice.
Monsters grabbed at my feet from under our worn velvet couch. My dad’s smile grew into a fanged grimace and then as quickly as it started the monsters turned into my Labrador Retriever, and my dad’s scowl turned to a worried frown.
My dad rapidly got me into our car and we drove like mad. Until we got to the emergency room. I sat on the cold metal table and stared blankly at the blue curtain hanging from the walls of the pediatric ward. After my dad consulted with the doctor he walked over to me. His green scrubs engulfed his body as it turned to a scaly creature, he hissed and walk over to me turning back to his original form. He started to observe my body and movements.
“Has he been experiencing mood swings?”, He asked my dad over his shoulder.
“Yes.” My dad replied, surprising me.
“Ever since his mom left and a little before that.”
The doctor sighed and sent a nurse to bring me to another room. The room was cold, freezing in fact. Almost if time itself had frozen, just longing to be thawed. My dad and the doctor wandered into the room, unfreezing the time. My doctor said I was to be released and was able to go back home.
In the car my dad explained to me that I had Bipolar Disorder a disease that made me hallucinate and had various mood swings.
“Dad.” I said.
“I haven’t had mood swings; can’t a child be unhappy because their mom left?”
“The doctor said what he said, Ayden!” My dad said abruptly.
And with that the conversation was over, bereft of life. So in our small car I sat quiet, longing to be heard, this is more than bipolar and now I realize it was much much more.
After my first week in the strange bleached room, I learned that I was in a place called an asylum, but I didn’t care, I called it The Wolf, stalking me and slowly driving me mad.
I had a routine now, a red tray at seven in the morning, noon, and six at night. My favorite nurse, Luanne, is as kind as the first nurse that had taken me to the dreary room, which felt like years ago. She brought board games for us to play together. One day we were playing a new game she had brought, she called it Life. We sat on the soft cushioned floor and set up the game. I picked the purple piece and we began to play, suddenly the bright room turned dark and grim a bright light shone over our game, my purple piece had transformed to myself and the reptilian doctor from weeks before grabbed me and locked me in The Wolf sending me back five spaces. I threw my fist as hard as I could striking the cold-blooded doctor. I suddenly felt a long needle go into my shaking arm, taunting me to fall asleep, just as I drifted off the unhuman doctor turned to Luanne whose lip was slowly dripping blood.
I woke up in a small room not any bigger than 5ft by 5ft there was a small bench and a pillow along with one reedy blanket. There was a small square in what look like a door with metal bars guarding escape. I look through the hole to find the first light I had seen in weeks, people were bustling. I screamed. Trying to be heard, then I realized it was going to be harder than I thought.
Apparently The Wolf has rooms for miscreants like me, called solitary confinement. I have seen that on shows and stuff but, haven’t actually ever in real life until now. Luanne hasn’t visited me in the week after the, “incident”, so I sit and count the minutes, until The Wolf lets me out of this dark, dingy cave.
I stayed in the cave for weeks as The Wolf consumed every last bit of energy I had. I was laying on the cold hard bench when Luanne stepped in, her curly black hair lining her dark skin. A scar on the bottom of her lip from where I had hit her. Her typical toothy smile was as flat as the atmosphere around us. She reached out her hand and led me out of the cave.
My first day of therapy was nerve racking, I stepped into a room with a long black leather chair in the middle. Dr. Shreya walked into the room and whispered something unintelligible into my dad’s ear. She had harsh red wavy hair, and stunning features. Her face peeled and exposed a monster inside. I thought it was a hallucination but, her attitude matched the monster, unsympathetic, and malicious.
After what felt like the longest half hour of my life, I finally sat down and relaxed on the worn velvet couch where everything started.
Something rang in my ear, like a breath. Trying to communicate, then I heard the female voice sweetly ask,” Luanne, where are we going?”
I asked Luanne where we were going, she said she couldn’t tell me, tears welled up in my eyes as she led me down a dark and dingy path. We finally got to a large room, and there sat my parents. Finally, the tears that had built up emptied out of my eyes as I threw my arms around them. I haven’t seen them in the weeks in solitary confinement because, no visitors were allowed. Then Luanne began to talk.
“She is being discharged today. Q will be missed.”
I was to be discharged from The Wolf, the thing that had been stalking me for three years now. I was 10 then, but we didn’t celebrate birthdays in The Wolf so I felt as If I hadn’t aged and I was still an innocent seven-year-old. Luanne handed my parents a release form and they quickly signed it. As we walked away from the ravenous creature the had kept me hidden, the bright light shone over me, burning my eyes. The sun felt hot on my long black hair. I was finally free from the den.
We got into the car and drove straight home, my little sister was anxiously waiting on the doorstep, she hadn’t seen me since The Wolf because of school. I was ecstatic to see her; she was my shoulder to lean on. We both sobbed as we flung our arms around each other, making both our shirts damp. Hand and hand my sister and I walked into the house and to my surprise there stood the whole Rosemond family. The happy room turned dark and dreary and the whole family turned to finicky monsters, scared, of me. They all ran in eldritch horror as I took steps forward. I sprinted to my room and grabbed my old school bag that was worn with age. I stuffed as much water and food as I could and bolted out the door. I ran as fast as I could until I reached the old willow tree my sister and I used to sit and read at, it didn’t feel the same without her.
So I kept running faster and faster as if The Wolf didn’t drain my energy but, restored it. I ran until I reached the train tracks and used the little money I grabbed to buy a ticket for somewhere far away. As I was about to board the train, I saw my little sister running up behind me, stalking me just like The Wolf had done. She grabbed my arm and refused to let me go. So we walked to the old willow tree and stood hand in hand. My little sister, Eloisa was stubborn but, the kindest gentlest person ever.
“You have to go back.” She sheepishly said.
I felt a sudden drowsiness wave over me, then I fell, landing hard on the aged willow tree that had once protected me from danger, and realized it was far from protecting me anymore.
After the strange voice talked to me I haven’t felt very well, abnormal even. I never told my dad about the voice, I just sat behind my long blonde hair and waited. My dad isn’t here often, because he had to get a new job to be able to buy my bipolar medication. I have tried to tell him it doesn’t work, or even help at all. He doesn’t listen obviously just constantly repeats;
“What the hell, Ayden! I have told you before doctors’ orders!”
Dad was probably all hyped up on alcohol, like he typically was. He would drink to get through the hard day of working. So technically it was my fault, if I had chosen to go with mom when she left her new wealthy quarterback husband could easily pay for all of my medication. I couldn’t fix it now though, time has already passed, just a distant memory of what life could have been.
The days after the voice were worse, my arms would go numb and pull me in directions I didn’t want to go. The new symptom reminded me of my dad, making me take medication and go to therapy, when I just wanted to sit and hide, behind my long blonde hair.
I locked myself in my room hoping not to be found but, of course I was. I didn’t open the door, I quietly crawled out the window with nothing but my backpack and some food. I ran far away running away as fast as my mom did so many years ago. Tears streamed down my face making my vision blurry, and then I tripped, falling face first into the grass of somebody’s front lawn. I heard soft footsteps running towards me, then they kindly asked;
“Honey, are you okay?”
I just curled in a ball and cried as the kind women sat down and consoled me. After I calmed down she led me inside.
She was beautiful, long curly brown hair draped over her soft blue eyes. A man walked over to me with a large bandage and some soapy water, for the gash across my leg. The man was just as gorgeous with black hair as dark as the night and green eyes as bright as the sun. He bandaged up my leg as they introduced themselves.
“I’m Ryder, a doctor at Eastside Medical Center.” Said the dark haired man.
“I’m Sydney, Ryders’ wife and a nurse at the Medical Center.” Said the gorgeous woman.
I smiled and introduced myself;
“I’m Ayden, I’m eleven years old.”
They smiled sweetly at the shy mention of my identity.
“I was orphaned last year by my parents.” I blatantly lied.
I felt bad for lying, fore these kind people had cared for my injury, my eyes started to burn and my dad appeared in the background, he ran towards me. I let out the last squeak I had as an over whelming grief waved over me. The I fainted.
When I woke up I was laid on soft bed, Ryder and Sydney stood over me.
“Are you okay sweetie.” Sydney anxiously whispered.
Then Ryder asked me the question I had been dreading;
“Do you have any medical conditions; Ayden please tell us.”
I didn’t know what to do, did I tell them and have to go back to therapy and those horrible pills, or lie and have only my dad to run back to. These people had saved me, comforted me, and most of all, listened to me. I had made my decision, and I was the best one I’ve ever made.
I woke up in a fast moving car speeding towards the hospital, my head was pounding and there were leaves in my hair from the old willow tree. Eloisa was standing next to the paramedics. I was strapped in and wasn’t able to move, this reminded me of the horrid day I was brought to The Wolf, unaware of my surrounding, in a dark unsettling van. I soon realized I wasn’t going to the hospital because, when I was six I had fallen out of the willow tree and broke my arm, the hospital was a short distance away, where I was going was much farther.
The medics shouted over the roaring van,” She is awake! Grab the IV.”
I felt the same piercing pain in my arm as I had so many times before, and as it mocked me to fall asleep, a voice I had only heard once before told me;
“One decision, make the right one.”
Then everything went black. I couldn’t make a decision, my mind was fast, like the car that was taking me far, far away.
Finally, I woke up on a cold, frosty table, a bright light painfully blinded my eyes from my surroundings. I tried to sit up but, something was holding me down, a weight I have never felt before.
The truth spilled out of me, like cracks in a dam. Ryder sighed, knowing Bipolar Disorder is untreatable, only controllable, he was a doctor and all.
Then I hit me, were these kind, perfect people a figment of my delusions, my crazy, messed up mind. I took steps back as the truth seemed to be becoming more apparent with every step. They walked closer to each other and began to fuse together limb by limb.
“Ayden! Oh Ryder