HOW DOES PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP AFFECTS THE CHILD PREFERENCES IN THE FUTURE Chapter I – Introduction Childhood is the period of time in a life of a child that will shape the most of their adulthood preferences

Chapter I – Introduction
Childhood is the period of time in a life of a child that will shape the most of their adulthood preferences. To do so, there is a party that needs to play a major role in shaping these children via their childhood, either having a better or worst one, and it is their parent. Parents, child’s first source of knowledge and also their first relationship will require the parent to play parts in monitoring and guiding them to have a great and healthy childhood. Parents that show enough affection to their children will results in life-long positive effects on the children, as stated by Child Trend. This can be achieved by a good parenting. Great time spent by the parent will lead to a productive childhood and better child’s emotions. Love and affections given by the parent to the children help give the children sufficient secretion of happiness hormone for their brain that will later become a normal thing in their life. The children also learned about life from their parents first before from other peoples. The parent guides the children from their childhood until they become a young adult, helps them making choices, giving them advice and many more. This will also lead to the child feel safe and secure with the affection given to them when they were still young hence creating a perfect ‘partner figure’ for them based on what their parents had developed with them before. Having the ‘partner figure’ based on the relationship had by the child and the parent will make the child to have a clearer image of how his or her future partner in life will be.
These research purposes are to find out how strong are the correlation between the strength of the relationship between the parent and how it will affect the child’s love life in the future, especially during adulthood. The research questions are

Chapter II – Literature Review
Expressive Involvement
The first dimension that parent must be engaged with to develop a good Parent-Child Relationship is through expressive involvement. Expressive involvement is mostly highlighting on the spiritual and emotional but in an easier word, it is the psychological development of the children. For example, the parent can give more focus on playing and spending more time with the child to have fun with. By doing so, it will provide the child with enough care and also promotes emotional stability. Most of the past studies mentioned that mothers play a major role in developing emotional involvement with the children due to their loving and caring characteristics. Satisfaction in Parent-Child Relationship will be achieved when their parent spent more time with the children to make them happy. In my opinion, emotional attachment is an important element to achieve a good Parent-Child Relationship as the child needs enough amount of love from their parent. In short, being in a good emotional state is beneficial in developing a healthy psychological health of the children hence make the relationship between the parent and the child better.

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Instrumental Involvement
The second dimension that parents need to engage with their children to develop a good Parent-Child Relationship is instrumental involvement. This dimension mostly focusing on developing the discipline and responsibility of the children during their childhood. Fathers are usually the ones that play a big role in building the discipline and the sense of responsibility in the child. Instrumental involvement also covers the ethical and moral development of the child. It was also theorized that the father has a better involvement in instrumental involvement than the mother of the child due to their personality. However, the finding from the research made found that the results are resulting to be perceived satisfaction. From my point of view, most of the children felt that their freedom was being controlled by being disciplined and responsible for what they do. But, it is important to help to develop the child being more ethical. All in all, instrumental involvement is one of the dimensions needed to be engaged by the parent when developing a good Parent-Child Relationship but it may cause the satisfaction to be perceived.

Intellectual Involvement
The final dimension of parent involvement in Parent-Child Relationship is intellectual involvement. The aspects included in this involvement are developing competence, teaching and mentoring attributes, and learning elements. It is also closely related to the other dimensions mentioned earlier, which are emotional and instrumental involvement. This is claimed to be so by having a greater mental health and fewer behaviour problems, hence granting the outcome for the child to be good in the state of intellectual elements. Some studies mentioned that a child will have a better intelligent when she or he gets a better care, attention and enough involvement from the parent. Based on my experience, most people that I encountered to be having great intellectual are from a family with good emotional health and well disciplined, where their parent is giving enough care in developing a good Parent-Child Relationship. In a nutshell, the intellectual involvement of the parent for the child is as important as other dimensions in achieving a good Parent-Child Relationship.

Attachment and Touch Improves Relationship
According to an article in Reader’s Digest Asia 2017 June issue by Anne Mullens title The Power of Touch, Neuroscientist David Kinden says that emotional bond given by the parent to the children through touch will affect the future growth of the children. Also written in the article from past cases describes by the researchers, comfortable life and enough care and comfort will bring beneficial effects to the child itself, such as improves their sleep and appetite and also decreased loneliness that leads to a healthy emotion and lifestyle in the later life. In my opinion, the children will feel safe and grows up to be a better person with the results of being in a healthy relationship and good attachment to the parent. To conclude that, enough attachment from the parent will strengthen the relationship between the parent and the child and will leads the child to a better and healthier future.

Experience in Early Life Helps Early Brain Development
A child and family therapist, Jennifer Kolari says in her book “Connected Parenting” that the brain of a child adapt to the experiences given and the surrounding it was exposed to. This happens due to the plasticity of the brain to easily adapt and change the way it works depending on the situation it was in. Parent provides he children experiences when they communicate with each other through bonding session and etc. She also adds that our brain is prone to positive thinking when exposed to positive circumstances and vice versa. When the bond established in the relationship, for this issue it is between the child and the parent, the body will produce sufficient level of happy hormone, oxytocin in the brain, making the body immune system improves and regulates the mood of the child. Thus, helping the child to be in a healthy mental state and this will lead to the child having a better future. To add based on my point of view, having a happy and positive childhood really helps in providing the child’s brain a healthy condition for better emotions and will lead to a better future. When they have better emotion, they will have better judgement for whatever decision they made. In short, this is how childhood affects the future health and emotion for someone through the brain development.

Parent-Child Relationship Quality and the Transition to Adulthood
As children emerge into adulthood, they are prone to be more close to their friend than their parent. They are easier to be influenced by their friend in seeking satisfaction. However, when the parent has great Parent-Child Relationship with the child, the parent can be closer to the child than their friend during the period of transition to adulthood. At the same time, the parent will be one of the child’s best friend and strengthen the bond between them. This also will help in developing the integrated identity in the child as the parent understand the child better by having a great Parent-Child Relationship. This also means that the parent has somehow shaped the child’s preferences. In my opinion, this is true because I had seen some of my friends that are close to their parent tend to have some interest with a thing shown or guided by their parent since they have a good Parent-Child Relationship. In a nutshell, the quality of Parent-Child Relationship brings in a lot of influences into the child’s transition from childhood to adulthood especially in determining the interest of the child.

Chapter III – Methodology
Types of Research
The type of research that will be used in this study is quantitative research. The quantitative research method being used to gather information from the respondent on parenting and the effects of it on their life. This method is being used to examine the issue in question through findings in numerical representations which is through statistics such as the frequency of time spent by the parent with the children. There are also open-ended questions on justification question regarding an issue.

Measures and Sampling Method
The research’s sampling method that will be used in this study is a random sampling of the participants to obtain more diverse results ranging from different backgrounds and experiences. For this research, the instruments will be measured using a set of questions. The questionnaire was made using Google Forms containing 11 question which are 3 background information questions and 8 questions on the topic matters. The questionnaire then will be spread to my target participant using a link. Then, I will measure the results from their responses using Google Forms and come out with a conclusion on my findings.

The respondents involved in this research will be coming from various locations around the country. Most of the respondents will be teenagers or young adults ranging from the age of 18 to 25 and above. Most of them are among students and fresh graduates. The reason why I choose this group as my participants because they are still young and close to home and their parent while the transition from childhood to adulthood is taking place.

The earlier part of the questionnaire is regarding the background information of the participants such as gender, age, and race.

The second part is regarding the topics in questions. The questions and why I include this question in it are as below: –
Which parent are you close to the most?
Answer Choice: i) Father ii) Mother
To know which parent is the closest to the respondent.

Does parent controlling your movement and choices considered as good parenting?
Answer Choice: i) Yes ii) No iii) Maybe
To see how they perceived good parenting when their parent is controlling their movement and the freedom to make choices.

How often do you spend time with your parent?
Answer Choice: i) Once a week ii) Twice a week iii) Thrice a week iv) Everyday
To know how often they spent with their parent and vice versa.

Is parent hitting/canning the children is part of shaping the children attitude? Justify
Answer Choice: i) Yes ii) No
To get their view on canning/hitting the children as a part of shaping the children attitude and their justification on their opinion.

Have you ever been in a relationship?
Answer Choice: i) Yes ii) Yes, but not anymore iii) No
To know if they are or had been in a relationship or not.

Do you sense the same feeling when you are with your partners as you are with your parent?
Answer Choice: i) Yes ii) No
To see how their feelings when they are with their parent and with their partner are the same or not.

How do you describe a perfect love life for yourself?
Answer Choice: This question is an open-ended question.

To see how they perceive a perfect love life for them, and this preference was affected by their relationship with their parent or not.

Chapter IV – Findings ; Discussion
After doing the survey by randomly sampling the respondent, I have collected 77 responses. The respondents consisting of 57 and 20 respondents for female and male respectively. The age of the respondents lies from 17 to 22 years old. Majority of the respondent are Malays, while there are 4 other respondents are from other race, one is Chinese, one is Indian, and the other two are from other races.

The question, its findings, and the discussion are as below: –
Which parent are you close to the most?
Based on the survey done, 88.3% of the respondent are close to their mother which is of the respondents which were answered by 68 respondents while the remaining 11.7% of the vote which are the remaining 9 respondents are saying that they are more close to their father. The conclusion of this question is that by nature all of the children are close to their mother.
Does parent controlling your movement and choices considered as good parenting?
The responses retrieved from the survey said that almost half of the respondent said that the parent controlling the movement of the children and choices as good parenting. 11 out of 77 respondents stated that it is a no for them while 30 other respondents chose to be neutral. From the description above, this shows that it is a norm for the parent to make the choice for their kids and control their children movements.

How often do you spend time with your parent?
Based on the chart above, all of the respondents do spend their time with their parent which 48 out of them spent the time with their parent daily, while those who spent the time with their parent thrice, twice, and once a week are nine, 12 and eight respectively. In conclusion, this describes that times spent with the parent are valuable and never enough.

Is parent hitting/canning the children is part of shaping the children attitude?
The chart above shows that almost 60% of the respondents agreed that parent hitting or canning the children as a part of shaping the children attitude. While the other 20 and respondents disagree and the remaining 11 choose to be neutral. This question was also followed by an open-ended question to know why the respondents choose such an answer which later will be discussed at the end of the discussion. As a conclusion, most people do agree that this manner is a part of good parenting in shaping the children attitude.

Have you ever been in a relationship?
Based on the responses received, the chart shows that 40 out of 77 respondents had never been in a relationship before. The remaining 37 respondents had been into a relationship which from 19 out of them used to be in one. There is also a balanced ratio of male and female in each of the answers. This concludes that most of the teenagers and young adults, no matter what gender, are not really exposed to be having a relationship as there are other priorities, however, there is still some who have and had them.

Do you sense the same feeling when you are with your partners as you are with your parent?
From the chart above, half of the respondents is those who never been into a relationship. While the remaining respondents were equally distributed between yes and no. This shows that it is possible to either feel the same feeling you had when with your parent and your partner or not. To conclude that, in my opinion, there is no significant indicator to differ the feeling of love between the child and the parent and the child when he or she is with his or her partner.

Below are regarding my open-ended question. There are two questions. The question and the discussion on it are as below: –
Justify why hitting or canning is a part of shaping the children attitude.

Based on my findings after doing the survey, that most of the respondents do agree that this manner is acceptable to shape the attitude of the child. Most famous responses I got is regarding discipline, give lessons to the child, and to tell them that they should not repeat the same mistakes again. There are also unique responses from related to survival instinct to learning to be independent. For those who answered No, their opinion is that hitting or canning may lead to abusive manners for both the parent and the children psychological state. In my conclusion, hitting or canning is acceptable as long as it is being conducted in a correct way and not in the abusive manners.

How do you describe a perfect love life for yourself?
In general, some respondents do tell that their description of perfect love life is to have the same figure or characteristics as their parent. This is due to how much attachment they do experience during childhood with their parent. Most of the respondents do respond on having mutual love or feelings towards each other. There are also a few responses that describe it in one or two words. For example, the word that been used to describe it is peace, caring, understanding, honesty, happiness, trust and more. In short, every people do describe the perfect kind of love for them differently. However, most of this preferences were developed and shaped from childhood and especially during their time spent with their parent as that is their very first relationship in the world.

Chapter V – Conclusion
After the research has been conducted, it is shown that the relationship between parent and child does affect the child psychological status and preferences. This is mainly due to the time spent between the parent and child which later established the Parent-Child Relationship. A good parenting, says by Child Trends is when a parent is providing enough affection and cares to the child throughout his or her childhood. Also, according to a study by the researchers at Duke University Medical School in 2010 stated that the babies or children tend to grow up to be a happier person with a mother that is more attentive and affectionate. As the research purpose is to find how strong is the relationship between good Parent-Child Relationship and the effects of the children itself. As the survey had been conducted, I found out that the relationship is not clear enough to be proven if it is either strongly related or not due to the mixed reaction from my respondents. However, we can still improve our ways of parenting and establish better Parent-Child Relationship to ensure the children had a happier childhood and future.

There are some actions that can be applied to improve Parent-Child Relationship and develop a good parenting style. The first one is the parent need to ensure that they do pay enough attention to their children regardless of how busy they are. According to a licensed clinical psychologist, Rebecca Berge, Ph.D., the children will emulate the ways that their parent expresses in loving one another. By the parent spending enough time with the children, they will get enough time to see the love and later develop it from the inside of the children. Based on my findings, most of the respondent do spend enough time with their parent and it seems that all of them do have a good mental health and enough care. The more time spent by the parent with the children, the stronger the Parent-Child Relationship it is.

The second action that can be taken to improve the quality of parenting is parent shall get to know their children more especially during the phase when they reached puberty. The best method to do so is to befriend your children as this phase is where they do need a lot of support to go through with their conflicts. Some children are closer to their opposite gender parent due to some unknown reasons. However, based on my survey, I found that most of my respondents are closer to their mother as it is a default by nature that the mother is more bonded to the child since pregnancy. In short, closer relationship between parent and child will develop a better Parent-Child Relationship.

The third action that can be taken by the parent is to be consistent and presence whenever the child needs help. Being constantly present around the child will make the child feel safer and know where to rely on when they need guidance. This will lead to a better relationship between the parent and the child while also ensure the children’s emotional and psychological state is in a good term. My findings from the survey stated that some of the children to experience the presence of their parent when they need help thus developing the sense of safety, care and love when they spend their time together.

Last but not least, the last action to be taken is the parent to have more fun with the children. Parents that spend their time to have fun with their children tend to have a great emotional health and also the children become happier because their parent is having fun with them. As the kids have fun with the parent, they will create a strong bond between them and increase the mood for the kids and also develop growth for the children. Good parenting applies fun using a system such as games, puzzle or as simple as having a pop quiz session with the child. In my opinion, the children being happy is one of the indicators that the parent are doing a great job on parenting. All in all, it is important for the parent to spend their time with their children even as simple as playing jigsaw puzzle to have fun with them as this may ensure a healthy mental state for the child and a happy family at home.

The conclusion for this is parent need to put the same focus on their children as they put on their works or other stuff as the relationship between the parent and the children are as crucial as other important things. Thus, the actions mentioned above should be applied so that the Parent-Child Relationship becomes fonder.

Even though the research on how parenting affects the children’s preferences, there is still not enough research on how parenting does affects the children’s preferences on their ideal love. The needs of information on how the children love towards their parent are related to how they love their partners in the future. Hence, the future studies should focus on how relationship shapes preferences on particular items such as love, opinion and etc.